home > journal > 2024 january


content warning: family death

these past few days have been very rough for me.

on sunday morning, my grandma had a massive stroke. i was with her so i was able to call 911 for help, but things in the hospital hasn't been as smooth as we wanted them to. she's not going to be able to recover and will probably pass away soon. anyway, i'm not gonna go into much detail about her current situation. i actually just wanted to talk about her for a moment on my website.

grandma with the vansi am pretty sure i have mentioned her at some point throughout some of my journal logs. i'm kinda all over puerto rico, i'm always here and there. but for the past 2 years, i've been spending most of my time with my grandma.

i've always been close to her throughout my entire life. throughout my childhood, adolescence, and whatever the fuck being in your 20's is called. we've always been there together, and if not, i always kept in touch with her. during the 3 years i spent away from her in arizona, i always sent her cards/letters and every week i would have like 3 hour long phone calls with her.

grandma in her bible study timeas mentioned previously, i've been living with her for the past 2 years now. not only do we enjoy each other's company, but i had also been helping her with things that were starting to cost her a lot of work to do.

she's a very dear person to me, i'd consider her like a best friend. she knew very well how much she meant to me. to the point of telling me "if something ever happens to me, don't be sad. put some music on and dance in my honor."

puzzle time at 5am with grandmalosing my grandma has been devastating for me. i will forever miss her silliness and energy. i would bring some of my plushies to her and she would line them up in the guest bedroom bed and talk to them like if they were real crying she's so charming.

moments before she had the stroke, we were watching what i'd like to call $5 budget movies on tubi. they were so fucking bad but we laughed so much. that will be my last memory of her alive and well. and you have no idea how, despite the pain that i have of losing her, it warms my heart that she got to spend her last few days with me.

she's currently still breathing, but there is nothing else we can do but wait for her to pass away. i hope she's in peace soon. she deserves the world. thank you for all the love you have given me, aba. i will always have you in my heart. te amo.

edit 1: she just passed away on jan 12 at 2am, rest easy grandma.

edit 2: i added some pics of her that i liked to throughout this log, and below i will be sharing a clip of when i made her play guitar hero with me. it makes me smile every time i see it.

back home05.jan.24

i am finally home from my winter trip after a week or so of being gone. i was actually in florida visiting amusement parks such as disney world, universal, sea world, and busch gardens! and my god am i so excited to share all of the pictures that i took and my thoughts on all the rides that i got in!

charley cheetah jellycat plush i also have some extra stuff to show like some adorable plushies i bought so i could take them home with me.

but that will be on a future journal log since it's a lot of stuff and i am still pretty tired from the trip.

but overall i had such a great time with my lovely boyfriend i'm super happy i got the chance to go since i've always been wanting to go to these amusement parks ever since i was little but never had the chance to.

before going to the airport yesterday, we stopped at a barnes & noble because we don't have that here! i miss it so much. and i bought the CUTEST manga ever i believe.

cover of my cat is such a weirdoit's called my cat is such a weirdo by tamako tamagoyama and it's basically just a bunch of comic strips about the mangaka's cats: ton-chan (left) and shino-san (right) and their silly little antics.

it's very simple but i have to recommend it for any cat lovers out there JUST for the pure charm and personality that radiates off of this manga with it's silly little drawings alongside the pictures of the real life cats!

a page from my cat is such a weirdo a page from my cat is such a weirdo

i was giggling like a little kid the whole time i was reading this. i think it's a perfect little manga for when you want to take a breather and feel a little whimsy and joy. here's the official link if you want to check it out.

on another note, i hope everyone had a happy new years! i missed being on my computer for a bit so now i will probably check out what you guys have been up to!

i still have a few stuff to do in regards to going back to college and i am honestly a bit nervous emoji about it. but i'm sure i'll be fine at the end of the day.

nonetheless, i am pretty excited to be starting a new year!

tired but happy to be home

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