connection15.nov.25 
the past couple of weeks has felt like a rollercoaster of emotions. a friend told me they had been acting a bit distant with me because their significant other thought i was into my friend. i was honestly really hurt when they told me this. not only wasn't that true, i also have a whole girlfriend. it really hurt to know the person you thought you had a nice connection was actually actively trying to not talk to you. even if it was because of outside factors. i was honestly ready to let it all go. this new friend group i had found, the community, my friend. it felt devastating. my girlfriend told me i shouldn't just abandon my friends because of this but i just felt so awful about everything. i really wanted to isolate myself.
i wanted to give my friend space but the more i thought about it, the more i started to question if my friend really wanted to do this. even if this friendship is over i should let them know that what is happening is not good. as someone in a relationship, i do not think it's normal to ask your partner to cut off a friend just because i feel like that person might be into them. that is not fair for anyone involved. and as hurt as i felt, i really wanted my friend to know this. as i was talking to my friend, everything became more clear. i had been scared that i had misread our connection as a close one. it turns out that this wasn't the case. they also felt close to me in the little time we had known each other. man did i cry so much while talking to them, but i also laughed at the dumb jokes we were making a little after. when our conversation was done i felt a little bit lighter and calmer. i wasn't sure what was gonna happen next, but i was glad i was able to talk to them one more time. we were not born to be put in these type of situations.
eventually they let me know they had talked to their significant other, and were able to reach a middle ground. we are back to talking and being friends. from this experience i learned a couple of things:
- i am a happier person because these friendships
- people do care and think about me
- talking is the key to any type of relationship
- i am quick to isolate myself from others
- there are things that are worth fighting for
it's always been a bit difficult for me to connect with people. i'm glad i talked to my friend. and i'm also happy they were able to stand up for our friendship.